Ladies’ Room
Well well well, it’s been a while since we’ve updated our HQ public bathroom status. Well today in the ladies’ room, our female employee told us ;)….
She goes into the bathroom and finds that the toilet seat is up in the ladies room….hmmmm, what does this mean?
Was there a unauthorized man in the room? Was there a he/she in this room or do women secretly try to be men and take aim?
You decide, but the truth is out there somewhere.
Ladies and gentlemen, meet The Asparagus Button.
For a variety of reasons asparagus makes your pee stink. Bad. If you’re interested in why here is an interesting article but suffice to say, it makes your pee smell incredibly horrible. Not like delicious Honey Smacks. Horrible.
So. Even those these incredibly awesome urinals from SLOAN in our HQ Bathroom automatically flush they’ve also given you what I’ve called, The Asparagus Button. This button gives you the ability to flush the urinal at will. No need to walk away. No need to wait until you’ve already turned and left for the sink. Hit the button, instant flush.
So, the next time you have a dinner party and you enjoy a nice side of asparagus using a delicious recipe you found on All Recipes - you don’t have to suffer with the consequences. Just hit The Asparagus Button.
The multi-tasker, Jr.
It seems that the son of The multi-tasker also works in the same building because last week I saw him in the HQ Bathroom. Like his father, The Multi-tasker Jr. is also capable of doing more than one thing at a time. Somehow Jr. is able to type on his iPhone with one hand while holding his, well, little Jr. with the other hand.
As I was walking into the bathroom he was tapping out the end of an obviously extremely important message. I mean, if you can’t wait until the last drip drips to send a TXT message or email from your iPhone while you’re in the bathroom - it must be vital that the message be sent when it was.
To you, father and son, I say… get a cover for your iPhones - you disgusting pigs.
While using the vacant HQ bathroom today I found a trend in my own habits.
I use the shorter urinal.
There are two urinals in the HQ bathroom. One at the average height that you’d expect to find in a public bathroom and one slightly lower. They both work the same. Each one has the same features as the other. However, I seem to gravitate to the shorter one.
Maybe I use the shorter urinal because it is closer to the door than the taller one. Or, perhaps, I use that one because I feel less intimidated by it.
The hard slap
A few weeks back I am in the bathroom at HQ and a guy is at the next urinal over. When he finishes up I hear him smacking his ‘you know what’ loudly and violently against his hand. I guess the typical wiggle would not suffice. Remind you I am right next to him, it was like it was bad and needed to be punished.
After said instance, the man skipped washing his hands and left. Don’t shake hands with strangers at HQ!
The multi-tasker
Today some dude was typing feverishly away on his iPhone, with the keyboard-clicking audio event sound turned on and set to its loudest setting apparently, while completely dominating the toilet bowl.
While I’m sure his colleagues appreciate his prompt replies there was nothing at all pleasant about the experience for me.
